Break the silence

Domestic and dating violence are two issues that I hold dear to my heart. My mom counseled battered women for years, which sparked my interest in this problem at an early age. Our state and federal legislatures have neglected women's rights issues such as these, which is why it's so important to raise awareness. Here is an article I wrote for the November Issue of Charger Pride:

One in three high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship. One in five teens in a serious relationship reports having been hit, slapped, or pushed by a partner. This means that four in five teens who are in abusive relationships never tell anyone.
October was National Domestic/Dating Violence Month. Dating violence occurs when one partner attempts to maintain power and control over the other through one of more forms of abuse including sexual, physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. Why does dating violence occur? Young males often believe that they have the right to “control” their female partners. They also may believe that “masculinity” is physical aggressiveness. In violent relationships, young females may think that they are responsible for solving problems in their relationships. They may also believe that their boyfriend’s jealousy and possessiveness is “romantic”.
Dating violence is one of the most serious and detrimental social issues facing our schools and communities. “The biggest key for young people is to understand the difference between a healthy, loving, respectful relationship and a negative, controlling, jealousy-fueled unhealthy relationship,” said Susan Sullivan, Counseling Program Coordinator of the Cleveland County Abuse Prevention Council. There are many early warning signs that females can look for that may lead to an abusive relationship. Some of the warning signs are: extreme jealousy, unpredictable mood swings, alcohol and drug use, isolates you from your family and friends, and being cruel to animals or children.
Do you think a friend is in a violent relationship? Common clues that indicate a violent relationship are: physical signs of injury, failing grades, changes in personality or mood, emotional outburst, and isolation.
There are many resources that cater to teenagers in violent dating relationships. Locally, the Abuse Prevention Council of Cleveland County provides victims of domestic and dating violence with the help and service they need. Last year, APC served 139 victims of dating/domestic violence between the ages of thirteen and twenty-five. These young people were either seeking shelter or were seen at the APC Counseling Office for assistance in fleeing a violent or demeaning relationship. APC can also provide legal assistance to keep their partner from harming or stalking them. Many teenagers seek counseling at APC to help re-build their self-esteem and confidence after being verbally put down of controlled within a relationship.
If you are, or know someone who is involved in an abusive relationship, remember that no one deserves to be abused or threatened. You cannot change your partners or their behavior, and studies have shown that with time, the violence will get worse. Take care of yourself by getting help. APC has a 24-hour confidential crisis line. The number is (704)-481-0043. Also, www.loveisrespect.org is a new 24-hour resource that utilizes telephone and web-based interactive technology to reach teens and young adults experiencing dating abuse.